My Experience with Being Aggressively Pursued!

Ok so picture this.. I take public transportation to and from grad school, which is in Center City Philadelphia, PA. Now, we all know how inner cities and subways are at night, so I am really cautious and aware of my surroundings.

Last night class let out a little early, we usually get out at 9pm. I say my goodbyes to my classmate and part ways. I see a large group of men between 27-35 years old and I make my way around, not making eye contact, but walking swiftly in order to avoid the awkward cat calls. *Of course you know that city men are more aggressive, and women learn at a young age to ignore it or try to avoid it by walking on the other side of the street* ( I want to touch on this in a minute).

I walk around and head down the escalator, with no one else in sight but the group of men, so I don’t have headphones in, but I don’t hear anything, but I was on the escalator for about 4 seconds when I am bring gripped up aggressively from behind; the man is demanding my attention, my heart skips a beat, and my natural instincts were to slap him, but it’s just me against a group of them, so I avoid that. I grabbed my arm from him and kept walking fast, in some way I was hoping someone would come around the corner so this man wouldn’t do anything to me. I free myself from his grip and he says “Why you rushing? Why you got an attitude?” I was so confused by this: the man is a stranger who ran up behind me and grabbed me.. Was I supposed to be flattered? I responded: “I don’t know you so don’t touch me!” And he said: “Just know next time I see you, I’m on your ass like white on rice!” while he and his friends laugh.

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See this happens way too often for my liking! The fact that I am 4′ 11″ doesn’t help either because they overpower me most of the time. Sad thing is, it is left up to us women to:

  • not make eye contact
  • cross the street (inconvenience myself and walk out of the way that I need to walk in, just to avoid harassment)
  • try not to piss them off to avoid their angry wrath
  • not dress like “whores”
  • SMILE SWEETHEART! Smile on cue because we are told to
  • take it as a compliment
  • not be a Bitch!
  • just get used to it..

How about you just keep your got damned hands to yourself and respect when a woman says NO to you, instead of acting like a spoiled rotten brat! I am sick of the misogyny, the excuses, the anger, the aggression, the cat calls. I am not your property, I will not smile, don’t touch women! We DO NOT belong to you! Stop the shit and grow up!

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