I know I may get side eyed for this because people are not trying to hear about this topic, but just read on..
It wasn’t until recent years that people have felt comfortable speaking about practicing celibacy openly. Many times, celibacy is mocked and ridiculed. But, if you think about the simplicity of it all, you’d actually appreciate it and learn how to put it into practice to strengthen your bond. The following is my opinions and experiences.
First of all, let’s not pretend that it’s going to be easy to do. There are urges, there will be tempting situations (especially when you two are alone), and there will be second guessing about the decision itself. Celibacy is not something you just turn on, just for the sake of saying you are celibate; it requires real commitment. It is one of the hardest things to commit to in life.
Although it may seem more difficult than you anticipated, there are way more benefits of being celibate. Think about just a few of the many benefits:
- First and foremost, it is a sacrifice to make for the sake of your spiritual growth; God will be pleased.
- Building and strengthening the bond in your relationship.
- Helps you to develop discipline and self-control. Having the ability to stay focused on your goals.
- Learning who you truly are, without depending on someone making you feel good about yourself.
- Having the ability to make better decisions while dating; when something doesn’t seem right, you will be more alert to unacceptable behavior or personality traits.
- Not having to feel the pressure of being someone’s object of lust, whenever they want.
- Learning the difference between love and lust.
- Not developing sexual, mental, and emotional attachment to people, based solely on your physical desires for them and vice versa.
- Gain the understanding that love is not limited to intimate and romantic relationships.
- You’ll know how to weed out the people with ill intentions right away, because in most cases, if a person is seeking a sexual encounter, they will not be interested in a celibate relationship.
- More obvious reasons such as STDs and unplanned pregnancies. (lessening your chances of exposing yourself by exchanging sexual encounters with every person you come into contact with, romantically.)
I could go on, but I think these are solid enough reasons.
I am almost certain that someone is reading this thinking, “how realistic is it to be celibate in this day in age?” I don’t blame you for thinking that if you did. As I mentioned above, it is a difficult decision. I am aware that there are people who are thinking about the positive aspects of sexual relationships, I don’t doubt that at all, but just imagine how difficult has become lately. With many people stuck in a “hook-up” era, it much easier to weed out those people from those who are actually seeking meaningful and lasting relationships.
Good sex can extend the life of a bad relationship that needs to die; don’t allow sex to cloud your judgment in a relationship. If things aren’t making sense, take a step back, re-evaluate, then act accordingly. I know it’ll be a journey filled with questions and concerns, but overall, this can help your life and relationship in many ways that are beneficial. I wish you well if you’ve made the decision to become/stay celibate, may God grant you patience and self-control. Many blessings to you. XoXo
1 Corinthians 7:32-33: 32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife.
* If you’re interested in finding ways to be celibate in your relationship, I would recommend The Wait by DeVon Franklin and Meagan Good.